wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
