This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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