whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
