Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
