Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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