dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i just made my gag reflex go away.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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