I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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