i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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