I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
