She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
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