I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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