Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
zippers are such a cool invention
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
