Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize