Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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