grandma shit on top of the toilet
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
