did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
