I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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