she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
