first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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