Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
