i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
