HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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