my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
