what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
