im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
