Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
