Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
