Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
