He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
