i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
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