I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
