Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
