I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
