He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
