I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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