I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
