are you so shy because you have an std?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
