That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize