Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
