you guys were way drunker than both of me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize