I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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