You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize