Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
