We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
