Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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