He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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