i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
