you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize