Christians are straight up FREAKS
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
