since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
