Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize