I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
