Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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