oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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