My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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