he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
