i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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