Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
