O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
