There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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