i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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